21-11-2016 : Phases

Held in traffic, hungry, a bit tired and very uncomfortable, I looked through the window of the interstate “danfo” bus in which I sat, sandwiched with 11 other passengers and a scruffy looking conductor. I knew I had had it. I wasn’t sure I could take more, I wasn’t even willing to.

The memoirs of my life as a Lagos Island worker played in my thoughts: the vision wasn’t what I foresaw during the days I anticipated being in the working class crew. It was horrid. I kept thinking: I have to find a way, I can’t keep living like this. Somewhere within me, I anticipated the end to my Lagos worker life, I just wanted out. Just then, I remembered my life in school.

My university life comprised of the good, the bad, and the ugly: as I grew older, the ratio was strongly in favour of the ugly.
Towards the end, I just couldn’t wait to be done: that was the only way to be free of the ugliness that plagued my days of schooling. Each day was a countdown to the time I’d be finally passed the unpleasant hurdle. At those times, school wasn’t fun, nah. It wasn’t exciting; It seemed I had too many tasks on my list to give time to fun ( as a serious-minded sister: ain’t nobody got time for that). I just needed to get the work done — well done. Apparently, my life depended on it.

So, no, I didn’t enjoy a huge part of graduate schooling.

And there I was again, living…

Scrap that

Here I was at it again: going through the motions of my life while, being frantic to find the remote button that’d fast forward the current phase. Hopefully, the land is greener –with no hazardous “danfo” buses–at the other side.

The other side is the light at the end of my tunnel; this tunnel of parading cars in dense traffic on the 3rd mainland bridge casting a show of blinding yellow (-ish) headlights and red backlights under the dark morning sky. The word, “sad” does not accurately express the state of frequently being on the lane of this tunnel.

Then it struck me. My lifetime is ticking: whether I choose to live or not. It’s counting down: whether I choose to make use of the time or not. All the time I’m frantic to fast forward is time I’m not getting back. All the goodness here may just be opportunities and experiences peculiar to this phase. In the Nigerian proverb: I’m throwing away the baby with the bathwater.

Every phase comes with its good sides and it’s downsides. The right way to live is to make the most of each phase and it’s exclusives. I learnt years back that some benefits of a phase will not be experienced in the next face and will definitely be missed. So while that phase lasts, suck up all its goodness. Make the most of it and enjoy it.

Asides, fun isn’t a luxury, it’s a necessity for living. And I don’t have to be off-work to have fun, I can make work fun too.

That said, I’m doing a deal for a TGIF everyday. Who’s in with me?

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