I miss you

I’ve long fought the feeling of vacuum,

I’ve long fought acknowledging the empty space ,

I’ve long fought the tears welling in my heart,

Refusing to let them flow to my eyes.



I miss you.

I’ve for long fought the admission,

Temporarily placed you at the rear of my vision,

Sternly denied my soul of expression,

Hardening myself against my own emotion.


I never thought you meant so much to me,

I never knew how attached I had grown to be,

I never knew how much you had become key,

That your absence could end my fantasy.



I miss you.

I’d admit that now.

I miss you.



I awoke this dawn to the vacuum,

A feeling I’ve known too well.

Yet, again I distracted myself,

And escaped the saddening cloud of emotions.


Back to my light I run,

Successfully leaving my hurt in the shadows.

Back in my superficial fantasy,

I’d smile and live gaily.


Away from the tears that flow beneath,

Away from the memory behind sparkling eyes

Away from the vacuum behind the heartily expressive spirit

Away from heart-renting reminder grounded in my habitat.



I’d lie to myself.


I’d lie I cheerfully accept you’re gone,

I’d lie there are no tears in my eyes,

I’d lie I don’t feel the overwhelming vacuum,

I’d lie I don’t live desperate for a chance to see you again.



I’d lie the tears on my lashes now are flimsy

I’d lie I no longer feel the hurt I felt when I saw you six feet down.

I’d lie I’m used to being without you,

I’d lie that seeing the monumental marble I live with doesn’t sting me with unexplainable hurt.


I’d lie to keep myself safely tucked away,

I’d lie to keep my life running gay.

I’d lie, “I’m fine”,

That seems to be my favourite line.


Till hands creep from my shadows,

And locked up feelings escape their prison.

Till clouds settle upon me,

And the vacuum envelopes me.


Till the suppressed bursts forth,

And my mirage fades out.

Till my war is defeated,

I’d lie.

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